The Exploit, I mean Glitch, I mean The Division

No one has fantastically Fucked up a game more than Ubisoft and Massive.  I mean really fellas (and gals) congratu-fuckinlations, you have arrived!  Pop the Goddamn champagne corks get all the fucking H1b visa coders and you guys take your ass down to Dave and Busters and have one on us, the Season pass holders and buyers of your dumpster fire of a game, you call the Division.

Who in Gods name makes important variables in a game Client Side...who...no one, I think they did this to prevent a bunch of lag, and the fact that the game was geared specifically towards consoles where client side info isn't as vulnerable;but shit you completely broke the game.  I play on PC and it is really absolutely ridiculous.  I swear to God i got busted playing Ultima Online with Cheat Engine 15 years ago, and no is getting busted in this game unless you are just blatantly grieving with your hacks.

I was really having fun with this game, but there is no endgame, after you finish the PvE the map is pretty much useless, the DarkZone is crawling with hackers, they fucked up the drops, and crafting system, the incursion is absolutely boring AF, it is one room that has a 15 spawn wave, mobile shield is bullshit, talent stacking was bullshit, reward vendor glitch, mask glitch, reckless glitch, protection from elites, the aim-bots, unlimited ammo, no recoil, RPM hack, shield hack with any weapon, No region matchmaking, I keep getting paired with non English speaking fuckers...region lock..lock.

The state of the game is pretty terrible right now, if you can group up with 3 friends and run DarkZone its a bit better, but really everyone has glitched and cheated their way so far ahead of normal players its going to be pretty hard to redeem this game.  I mean on top of that there are people that have played this game for over 1,000 hours, glitching and cheating, people trying to play the game with ethics are shit out of luck.

Zombies are Dead...and fans killed them

For the past 4-5 years there has been a massive Zombie craze that has overwhelmed consumers all over the World.  You cant throw a fucking stick anymore without hitting something that is either a Zombie Product or advertising for some Zombie whatever.

This is nothing like the fucking book

I am going to go ahead and say it , I liked Zombies before they were cool, that is a no shit the truth, I have tons of Zombie novels, All Flesh must be Devoured short Stories, Monster Island, Zombie Survival Guide, How to speak Zombie, I will show fucking receipts. 

Zombies used to be that boy in 8th grade who tells all the other guys that he had sex, he was the most epic bad ass in the entire middle school; but later when your a sophomore you find out he stuck his dick in a grapefruit and you avoid him like the plague.

  The Main reason zombies are "dead" now is that corporate america found out that consumers fucking like them, and they proceeded to beat the genre into the ground where it threw up and rolled around in vomit comprised of it's own self indulgence.  All of you consumers just kept eating it up over and over again, it didn't fucking matter what they slapped zombies on you thought it was the greatest shit since sliced bread, well I hope you are proud of yourself.

This made quit Torrents for a year

I haven't even subjected myself to this bullshit

Nintendo...is terrible

So I have had a hard on for Nintendo for some time now, I really just hate nearly everything that they do.  Ill start first with the game releases, if you look up some of their top titles are spread out between their handheld and the console.  Take StarFox for example the last time it was released on an actual console was 2005, and now they want us to get all excited about this steaming pile of shit for the WiiU.  It looks fucking terrible, I know people say that Nintendo doesn't care about graphics they care about story, but that is fucking stupid.

Holy Shit the money spent on this boys!

 The basis for most of their story lines can be followed by Paste Eating youth.  Bad Guy arrrghhh, Good Guy fight Yeahhhh!  You can easily keep the younger audience while at the same time keeping your older fans happy, and again the graphics If I am going to shell out the nearly the same amount of money for the WiiU as an Xbox, or Playstation then for fuck sake it should have comparable hardware.

Their stupid money grab with the Amiibos is just absolutely disgusting, if you actually spend money on these tiny pieces of shit, you deserve to lose all your money. I just hate Nintendo.....go away.

Lets shit on Ubisoft: RainbowSix Siege/The Division

So over the past couple of weeks I have kind of been on a Ubisoft binge, playing RainbowSix Siege and then filling some time with Tom Clancy:The Division BETA.  I wanted to put some time today to shit on both of these games, and hopefully you'll find this informative and entertaining.

I'll be quick

Pros

Easy to get into,Load up a recruit and go

Fun playing with Friends,I have really enjoyed this with buddies

Graphics are decent-There was a huge difference between what was shown, and what we finally got, this seems to be a recurring problem.

Game play is Enjoyable

Cons

No single player,Fucking Tutorials with each different agent is not a single player with story mode, 

Very repetitive-I mean when basically the only mode in the game is Attack or Defend shit gets           repetitive.  Well there is Terrorist Hunt mode versus the AI as well...meh.

DLC - The game already doesn't have enough content to charge the full retail price of $60, this is a   $20 game, and then you gonna tell us if we want more we have to purchase it separately.

No Replay Value-I mean after a week or two of playing this game, I'm done.  This can kind of fall under the very repetitive category as well.

Always Online-I will always count this as a negative till they stop doing it.

All in all its an okay game, fun to play with friends but not enough content, and far too repetitive to hold on to Hard drive space for long on my machine. 6/10 for me an average good game.  Also I am again disappointed with the once again downgrade in graphics, once again we were shown what to expect and we got was no where close.

I am about to get off on a tangent here so bear with me,
Ever since the WatchDog fuck up I would think Ubisoft would have learned their lesson, but nope they just don't give a shit.

I mean how can you sit there show everyone a great looking game and decide before you release it, meh lets make it look like shit.  I could see downgrading the graphics for optimization for console peasants, but damn it a lot of people spent a lot of money in order to play AAA games to the max.

No one disagrees with this, if you do you are utterly full of shit, there is no other way to put it.

Next we come to Tom Clancy's: The Division.  The game has been long awaited and touted as what Destiny should have been, the Destiny killer, and many other things.

I have never played Destiny so I dont know about all that shit.  But I can tell you about The Division BETA, and make some educated guesses what the future holds for this game,, I wont do the Pros/Cons like earlier I feel that I just need to talk this one out.

The game was fun, when I played with my friends it was great, and even the individual missions were good.  The gun play was cool, not revolutionary by any means but fun.  The missions that unlocked sections of your Base of Operation were fun, but dear Lord, if I shot one more retarded gang banger named Alex, I was either joining the LAPD or turning the gun on myself.  The bad guys offer no variation, if you played the BETA you probably shot Alex thousands of times, even after the cleaners were added I felt a mild excitement that was quickly squelched.

I am sure there will be a lot more grinding in the coming release, and I will say that when the difficulty level was increased in group missions the intensity went right along with it, I don't know if that's because the enemies become bullet sponges pro longing the fight, and making ammo conversation a real thing, but it felt good.

The loot is terrible, you either get a piece of clothing or some variation of mod for your weapons. The variation in the loot is really bad, suppressor, magazine, scope, the stats are just different, this may start to make a little more sense when the crafting system is in place in the full scale game, and you are able to break down junk to craft into better gear.  I really have high hopes for this game, but I am already pissed by the admittedly forced graphics downgrade, repetitive villains, and boring loot.

DarkZone in my opinion was the best part of the game, the PVP was engaging, I felt it was a little too easy to go Rouge at times, my turret often sent me into rouge status, instantly dooming me to either running around the map or instant death.  But it was fun.

All in all the ideas behind the Ubisoft games are great, they just continue to fuck it up one way or another, its like they have someone specifically hired just to fuck these games up, please stop it....just stop it.

Crowdfund Fails

I took some time to look through different Crowdfuning, IndiGoGo, and Kickstarter campaigns and fish out the ones I believed to be either "crazy, stupid, or just a waste of time."  Now if anyone finds their project on here, well it is what it is, lol.  I will say this, these people have spent time and effort into most of these and that's more than I have ever did, and a lot of these are funded a fair bit.  But without further ado let's start

 Algae Chocolate

                              
You done fucked it up, this Kickstarter combines the best of both worlds Algae and Chocolate.  This wonderful product is brought to you by the people at The Algae Factory (which reminds me of my child's kiddie pool in the summer), this product is made for people who "choose not to compromise" when it comes to staying healthy and a sustainable lifestyle.  When there is green stuff on my chocolate..its bad chocolate.  They have raised nearly$7k, proving that people are willing to pay; so others will smother terrible tasting shit with chocolate.

Cell Glove

Up next is the Cell Glove, the creators busy lifestyle and utter lack of motor skills was the driving force behind this hands free device.  Not since Hellboy have you been able to dream of enlarge your hand to such proportions that it would be an appropriate tool to bludgeon someone to death with.  The creator states that he wished there was something that would allow him to attach his phone to the back of his hand and still use that hand for activities, Velcro bro....Velcro.  he has raised $20 towards his dream.

Ready Sip

The people at Ready Sip have solved a problem plaguing hot beverage drinkers for centuries with their wireless notification device that will tell you when your tea is at the perfect temperature for sipping preventing that unexpected but delightful day trip to St.Judes.  I absolute hate products that were obliviously designed for fucking morons, my three year old child knows when food is hot and he even waits till it cools off before eating.  Lets save everyone some time and money and buy them this book instead "Dont Touch it's Hot", for one cent on Amazon!  Unfortunately they don't make an adult version of this book, because it would cater to dumbasses. They have raised $5k towards their goal.

                                                                         

Slut the play

This is awkward

 

Not since the Vagina Monologue have I felt this uncomfortable about a performing art.  I mean...guys this is not one to to take a girl on a first date, avoid at all cost.  "Slut the play" which could only get better if it were "Slut the musical" follows Joey Del Marco a 16 year old girl who on a typical Friday night is sexually assaulted by her BFF's George, Luke, and Tim.  Follow this young lady on her wacky adventures which will take you from lying on the bathroom floor covered in vomit, holding your ripped underwear to the District Attorneys office, where you can relive the horror of your rape and have it forever memorialized with a complimentary 1080p quality personalized evidence DVD. This project has raised $1.5k. 

Satanic Temple: Reproductive Rights Campaign

I believe this to be Co-created by the women at Slut the Play, but I could be wrong.  It is basically a campaign to stop further regulations on abortions. More to the point, the reason I chose this one is because of the supporter reward, a fucking children Satanic Activity book and a button five pack, hahahahahahahah.  What the hell (literally) is in the activity book?  Are you fucking kidding me?  This is just too much, they have raised an unbelievable $41k, just slap Satan's name on some shit and its golden apparently, someone needs to create a Satanic Temple Animal Shelter or something.    

Mission Yoga Float Center

This one comes from Mission Yoga in San Francisco, Ca.  These people have been "floating" for four years and you cant stop them!!  It's basically a sensory deprevation chamber with bath salts.  Some benefits include, jet lag recovery, enhanced learning, sudden loss of money and pride.  I hate to tell these people but if this has the same results as featured in the 1980 Blockbuster Altered State well count me the fuck out

.

Being turned into a multi dimensional caveman is not my idea of an urban oasis. They have raised $26k.

Squeezers

This is exactly what you think it is, it is a tool to manually (as opposed to mechanically?) pop pimples.  The creator came up with this idea after squeezing a pimple....no shit.  I don't even know what to say about this...I have fingers, and while I have at least two finger I can pop my own damn pimples I do not need a tool for it.  Now you create something that can pop those pimples you get on your back that you just cant reach, then sign me up!

Well that brings us to the end of my list, if you have any CrowdFund Fails share them with me!  This was really fun to do, and I always love to see this kind of stuff, Thanks!

My experience with Kodi

So I was surfing the internet, and came across some articles about using Kobi (XBMC) on things like the Nvidia Shield, PC, other android devices, and decided to give it a try.  After watching a few videos on the nuisances of the system, I loaded up the Fusion repo and started to add on well....my addons. Download Kodi here

I have been using Kodi for about two weeks now, and honestly at first I was like really?  This kind of sucks, but as I learned which addons were reliable, and frequently updated, I really see myself using Kodi more and more.  My turning point would have to be when I watch the UFC fight last weekend, I was really blown away.

Is Kodi a must have Media Center for your device, I would say Yes!  If you are far behind on jumping on the Kodi bandwagon like I was, quit wasting your time, and do it!!!

Gamestop...worst experience ever

So this story all starts on Black Friday of this year.  Nvidia had the Shield on sale for $149.99 and it came with a free remote.  One of the places that it was being offered was Gamestop.  Now I do not frequent Gamestop I do most of my purchases online, but just so happens while on vacation we came across a Gamestop and I decided to go ahead and try and pick this up while it was available.

This store associate was helpful, but he had no idea what I was asking for; or if they even had one, after a few minutes he found the deal but he would have to drop ship to my home; that's fine I thought.  Got it ordered everything was honky dory.

Next day i receive and email stating that they were out of stock at the warehouse and basically didn't know when they would have them, damn i thought that's a little shitty you offer a product you don't even have in stock, I mean I could understand the store not having them but damn the warehouse as well.  I call the customer service line and this is when my fresh Hell began.  I was informed by the automated bitch that they were receiving an unusual number of calls and could be with me in about 50 minutes...wait what the fuck!  Believe it or not I fucking waited, and sure enough 50-55 minutes later CSR picked up the fun ready to help.

HIDE/SHOW

I asked when they were getting the next shipment, "we have no idea" was the response.  So i instructed the CSR to go ahead and cancel the order, alright order canceled my credit card will not be charged thanks for your business, so I thought.  Few days later a Nvidia Shield remote shows up at my house, and my credit card has been billed for the total amount.

The call back, you guys sent me the remote, I canceled the order, and you billed my card.  I can again, understand that the remote made it out before the order was cancelled, billing my card even could be understood because they partially shipped.  CSR tells me it is only a hold on my credit card and if I wanted to I could keep the remote because it actually has a value of $0.00, because it was free with the promotion.  "But it's not showing as a hold, it's a transaction." I said.  "Oh no sir its a hold." he said.  Fine whatever I'' give it a few days.

Charge is still there, go to local store to try and get this sorted even bring remote with plans on returning it.  Store associate was helpful at first but then quickly turned into a pile of shit, he would not call Gamestop and see what was going on, he took my number down and said he would try to call later.  You don't fucking try to call little bitch, you either do or you don't.  Stop boxing up fucking Viva Pinata and help your customer!  He did say I could return the remote but I wouldn't get any back because Gamestop thinks it has no value at $0.00.  Fuck you nerd I'm keeping this shit.  Again  I didn't want the total amount just for returning a remote, really brought it because it had all the order confirmation stuff with it

Long story short after few more calls, and Gamestop refusing to acknowledge they charged my card they agreed to send me a Corporate check for the amount in 7-15 days, I went ahead and placed a dispute on the charge with my bank, because sure enough their fucking check will probably bounce.  Ordered the Shield through Amazon got it in two days.